


Fading Starlight

by RosyMiz



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Drama, Gen, Jinx can be self-destructive when frustrated enough, Star Guardian AU, implied Ezreal & Lux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 17:04:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12657762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosyMiz/pseuds/RosyMiz
Summary: I noticed that you talk to that guy more often ever since you met him at Camp Targon, Lux. I want to think nothing of it, but I keep feeling like something's going to happen. To us. And I don't know what.





	Fading Starlight

What the fuck.

Why is it that whenever I turn a corner, I always see you with him? I take a step back and poke my head out from the corner. Ugh, why do they have to be in my hangout spot? I scowl as I hear you laugh at something he said. You never laugh like that around anyone else. 

I narrow my eyes and stomp over to you. 

You try to calm me down in front of him, when I know you’d usually argue back with me. I bark out a laugh when you say I can’t own an entire area of the school. Nah, I’d totally fight anyone who’d try to take this spot of mine. It’s my own little space. 

He tries to hold you back by grabbing your hand. He tells you that they could find another place at school to talk.

I crack a joke about him being in love with you. I raise a brow, revelling in silence at the satisfaction of seeing him let go of your hand like he touched fire. Yet, his reaction is also unpleasant to me. I shoo you two away and watch you leave without turning back to look at me with your usual “you are in so much trouble later” look. I think nothing of it and climb the tree behind the school building to look at the view.

Man, it never beats the city scenery at night though.

I lean back against the tree trunk. I think about the first time I met him back when you took us all to Camp Targon, when I saw you talking to him. I doubt you sensed me nearby, but I heard him ask you what your favorite light was. 

Now and then, I see you with him at school. 

I don’t know why. But for some reason, that doesn’t sit right with me.

* * *

 

You’re on your phone while you cook this time. There’s that smile on your face again. And don’t think I didn’t catch that blush on your cheeks. Or maybe that was because I butted my head in to read your texts. Oh, it was Janna. You scold me not to read your messages over your shoulder.

I snicker and correct you that I shoved myself into the conversation, thank you very much. You shake your head and go back to cooking while I dig through the freezer for those popsicles Poppy hid in there somewhere. But out of the corner of my eye, I catch you switching the conversation to his. 

I roll my eyes and slam the freezer door, startling you. I bite the popsicle between my teeth and grin smugly at you. I walk past you to the backyard, your face as pink as your hair. 

It’s hilarious to see you turn the same shade as your blossom pink hair. You’d think no human being can turn that kind of color. But you proved them wrong.

I look back to see you resuming cooking, but the screen of your phone is still on. Your head keeps turning to the side expectantly. Kuro and Shiro fly out of the open window of my room and chase each other in the sky. I smile at them endearingly. Oh, they’re such cuties! 

The laughter that comes out of me feels off. There’s something weird in my laugh. I shrug it off as I chew on the pop before it melts.

This popsicle doesn’t taste as good as I expected. Maybe Poppy got the recipe wrong. But then again, she never makes a mistake on her special Poppsycle recipe. So I wonder why this tastes weirdly bitter. 

Meh. I plop down onto our plastic recliner and sunbathe.

* * *

 

I roll across your back, playing a game app on my phone. I drawl out your name, complaining about what Poppy did to me this morning that I totally didn’t deserve. But you don’t respond. You’re spacing out the window of the living room, not paying attention to the open book in your hand. I repeat your name.

You still don’t respond.

I sigh in frustration as I playfully shove your head into your book with a snicker. You rub your nose as you shoot a glare at me, but you turn back to your book without another word. 

Well. That was… underwhelming. 

I poke at your hair, continuing my little rant about Poppy threatening to drop kick me while Lulu and Janna were watching from the table. Not doing anything to stop her! How could they just watch her wave the spatula at me while I was trying to take an egg from the several she was cooking up for us?

You only make acknowledging sounds with the occasional “uh-huh” or hum.

For once, my lips that would constantly go off about something— _ anything _ I can set my mind on—shut, and I fall silent. I roll off your back and make my way to my room. You don’t even call after me or ask where I’m going. When I turn the corner to head upstairs, I hear the ding of your phone and your giggle. 

In my hand, my phone vibrates as it drones that I failed the level I was playing on. Ah, shit, now I have to start the level all over again. I look at the screen while I open the door to my room and sprawl on my bed. Right as my thumb is about to tap the restart button, I stop. Instead, I exit out of the app. I toss my phone onto my pile of clothes on the chair by my desk. 

It’s not like the game was that fun anyways.

* * *

 

You don’t really come out of your room much anymore. And you’re  _ always _ outside of your room to give us one of your usual pep talks or the game plan that I never really listen to. Heck, you haven’t even once banged on the wall to tell me to tone down my blasting rock music the past week. I can see the light of your computer from the space between your door and the floor, and I can hear you happily chatting with someone over voice chat.

Judging by your tone, I can already tell who it is. I walk past your door but not without slamming my palms against the wood to scare you. I hear you yelp, and I cackle as I run downstairs to the smell of food. Kuro and Shiro shoot past me into the kitchen, where I can hear Poppy telling them to stop bothering her.

I stop in my tracks at the end of the stairs when I realize you haven’t even opened your door to yell at me. I frown towards the direction of your room. Ugh. How boring…

“You okay, Jinx?” I look down to see our innocent little artist, Lulu. She tugs on my skinny jeans, her head tilted in worry. “Your starlight seems dull.”

There’s a pause. I have no idea what the heck she’s getting at. “What d’you mean, Loops?” I try asking.

“You’re sad.”

Okay, now she was talking crazy. I snort in amusement at her claim. “Me? Sad? Oh, Loops, you know there’s a limit to imagination. Me being sad is beyond that limit.”

Lulu neither accepts or denies my words. She keeps looking at me with those big, blue eyes. “Just because the light seems to be far away, doesn’t mean it’s completely gone.”

I stand there, dumbfounded, as Lulu skips over to the counter to start drawing something again like she always does. Pix quickly joins her, fluttering around her head. I… sometimes wish I could be in Lulu’s world. Just to know what she’s talking about all the time. But then again, I feel like I would be staring fear in the eye if I did.

But I wonder what she meant by that. Wish she’d elaborate. Eh, knowing me, her words might go straight out the other ear. 

I see Poppy cooking while Janna is cleaning up the dishes. Seems like we’re having beef stew for dinner tonight, hell yeah! Kuro and Shiro then come up to me and nuzzles me with their soft fur. Gee. Wonder what got into them.

The table’s already set, so no work for me! I sit down by the table and wait for that delicious bowl of stew, tapping my fingers eagerly against the wood. I can already feel my mouth watering.

“Jinx, can you get Lux? Weirdly enough, she hasn’t come down yet.”

My fingers stop tapping. “Oh come on, can’t Loopsy do it this time? I don’t wanna go back upstairs!”

“Jinx,” Poppy calls my name in a threatening tone. “It’ll only take a minute.”

“A minute too long,” I mutter as I push myself out of my chair and drag myself upstairs. I knock on your door, the third knock being a little too loud. “Hey sunshine, dinner’s ready. Stop talking to your boyfriend and come downstairs already!”

Your door immediately opens to your pouting face. “First, he’s not my boyfriend. Just a friend.” You take a whiff of the aroma of the beef stew coming from the kitchen. “Oh, it’s beef stew tonight. Let’s go, Jinx.” You brush past me and head downstairs, leaving me to close your door.

I scoff and close the door, but I peek through the crack at you computer screen. There’s something… that feels weird. And it’s not my usual desire to blow something up. Because I love to do that. But this time… it’s different. Kinda new, I think. I close your door shut and go back downstairs.

When I’m back in the kitchen, my bowl of stew is already prepared and ready to be eaten. “Haha!” I cackle as I sit down next to you and start digging in. “Your stew is always the best, Shortstack. I can eat this for days.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what you say about all my food.” Poppy takes this moment to send me a knowing glare. “And my popsicles.”

I can only smirk at her comment. “What can I say? You’re the chef of the house!” I kiss the tips of my fingers and smack my lips to emphasize the compliment. “By the way, Lux, you wanna go to the movies later this weekend? There’s a real great movie with explosions and actions and guns and stuff. It’s also got some romance, m’sure you’d drink that stuff up.”

“Oh. Actually, I have plans with Ez that weekend.” You start talking about whatever that guy invited you to, but you don’t seem to notice how much you light up when you talk about him. Your voice gets more chipper. Your eyes get a little wider with excitement. Your gestures become broader.

The table clatters when I slam my hands down and push my chair back to stand up. Without another word, I rush out of the kitchen.

“Hey! Where are you going?! You didn’t even finish your bowl!” Poppy calls after me.

“I’m not hungry!” I holler back. I can already imagine the look on that Shortstop’s face. Her jaw hanging open in shock at my refusal to eat her food. I’d laugh, but I don’t have it in me. “Kuro! Shiro! Let’s go!” My familiars follow me as I run out the door and transform. I fly away from home towards the city. 

I don’t even hear the cries of my sisters from the wind rushing past me.

 

I find the highest tower in the city and sit on top. Heights make me feel… powerful. Important. Because no one can reach up so high but me. Plus, the city view is gorgeous at night. But even as I gaze down at the moving lights and ant-sized figures of people below, I can’t shake this feeling off.

I don’t know what it is. And it’s so frustrating.

Loudly sighing, I stand up and fly somewhere else. Somewhere open. Somewhere quiet so my voice is what fills the silence. I reach a canyon far west of the city, where there’s nothing but rocks and dirt everywhere. Oh good. Nothing to set on fire, since there’s barely anything here. I think Lux’s scolding is getting to me.

All of a sudden, my chest feels tight. It’s kinda hard to breathe. Something is happening to me. I’m not dying, right? I look at Kuro and Shiro, who seem perfectly fine to me. So, I guess I’m not dying. But this feeling is… painful.

Just to alleviate the pain, I do what I do best. Scream. I screech at the canyons, hearing my voice echo back. It doesn’t soothe the feeling at all. Kuro turns into a cannon in my hands, and I shoot a missile into the air to watch it crash and explode into starlight onto the rocks below.

I hate this.

Another missile explodes in the farther distance.

It’s like I’m not there anymore.

I yell into the sky as Shiro now switches with Kuro into my gun. I shoot at the rocks far away.

I feel like I’m being pushed aside.

I let go of Shiro and start shooting at the sky with my finger, watching the blue starlight disappear as soon as I shoot it. It’s pretty, but I can’t feel myself being able to marvel at it. I keep shooting and shooting and shooting. I scream until my throat’s raw. I then stop, panting to catch my breath. My face feels warm despite the cold canyon air blowing right through me. 

_ “Just because the light seems to be far away, doesn’t mean it’s completely gone,” _ Lulu’s words resonate in my head. 

Fuck it all! The feeling is still there. I let out one last frustrated howl as Kuro and Shiro merge into one huge rocket that I shoot at the sky above me. 

I feel like I’m being replaced.

My ears are ringing with the echoes of my screams and the explosions of missiles and bullets. Kuro and Shiro split apart, squeaking something in panic at me. But I don’t hear them anymore. I just barely catch the voice of my sisters yelling at me from behind, when I turn to see them flying towards me with fear in their voice. And there in the front, I see you desperately trying to gain speed to get to me faster.

Next thing I know, I have three barriers on me. That’s when I realize. I look up to see the rocket that I had shot shooting straight towards me. I can’t move. All I can see is an explosion of light and stars before my vision fades to black.

* * *

 

Fuck. My head. I grumble in pain as my eyes flutter open to the ceiling of my room and my rock band posters on the wall. What the fuck? Didn’t I die?

“Jinx?!” 

I wince at the sudden loud voice. “Shut up, my head hurts,” I can manage to say.

“Oh, thank the stars. She’s alive! Poppy, get Janna. We need her to check her condition.”

I squint to clear the blurriness away, but I don’t need to have clear vision to know that the white and black furballs against my chin are Kuro and Shiro. That voice was definitely yours. “Lux?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m here! I’m here, Jinx!” You grab my hand and squeeze it tightly as you look at me with red, puffy eyes. Shit, I screwed up. “What were you thinking?! Why were you all the way there?! Why didn’t you move, you stupid idiot?” 

Huh? Oh yeah. My rocket. I want to move my arms, but my left hurts so badly when I try. I look to see my left arm bandaged and put in a sling. Damn. I think my rocket broke my arm. My head sinks back into the pillow.

“I thought you died, are you kidding me?!” you cry, the tears flowing down your cheeks again.

I snort. “What, all I do is cause trouble? If that’s how I go, that’s how I go. I wouldn’t care.”

“But I do. You are important to me,” you firmly state. “What would I ever do if you died, Jinx? Huh? Can you answer me that?” I gawk at her with wide eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this… emotional. Ya know, all the crying… and sobbing… and sappy talks. 

“Um… sorry?” I croak out. 

“You better be,” you sob. You wipe your tears and sigh in relief now. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“How did you even find me in that canyon, anyways?” I ask. “It was pretty far from where we lived, you know.”

You sniff. “How could I not know? I knew exactly where you’d go.”

Well. That put a weird, crooked smile on my face. I thought I was having a moment, but then Poppy burst into my room with Janna and Lulu following closely behind. You move away to let Janna examine my injuries and heal them. I start feeling better, but there’s only so much Janna can do with a broken arm. 

Oh well.

I’m alive. That’s all that matters.

You stay behind while Poppy, Lulu, and Janna go back downstairs to fix up something for me to eat. That’s nice of them. But I can’t help but laugh in this situation. God, I’m so fucking stupid.

“Why were you in the canyons, Jinx? What were you even doing there?” you suddenly ask.

I shrug as I blow a raspberry with my lips. “Eh, you know me. I like to see explosions of glitter and starlight.” You shake your head and start nagging me about suddenly leaving the dinner table just to see things explode. I cackle. I missed that.

But ya know what? What I was doing in the canyons, I will never tell you. What I felt back there, I will never tell you. Because that shit’s not something I would willingly open up to you about. It’s just not in my character, you know?

If anything though? I just hope that light comes back to me eventually. 

**Author's Note:**

> I had a sudden burst of inspiration while in storyboarding class, so I stayed up until 3am to write and proofread this : ^)


End file.
